The Outcasts
by talesofmyheart
Summary: We're the unloved, the unwanted, the misunderstood, the outcasts. Brought together by fate and bound together by love. This is our story
1. Ruby

The Outcasts

We are the forgotten, the outcasts, and the unwanted. Brought together by one thing… friendship

Ruby:

I woke up, tears running down my face, God I want to be held so much. My arms snaked around myself, trying to hug myself but it's not the same. I went out to Ross on the lounge, his face wet with tears too. He looks so tragically beautiful…. He always did. I remember when I met Ross at the park; I thought he looked so beautiful; I wanted to marry him one day. The innocence of a seven year old. The one thing that was so beautiful about him was his hair. His hair was not kind auburn, but not quite orange either. He had the most gorgeous forest green eyes. His eyes are the symbol of autumn, forest green mixed with flecks of orange. When I was 12 I had a massive crush but I even knew then that his heart belonged to someone else. Mine did too. He woke up, I whispered "Sorry to have woken you up". His face looked so sad; I knew who he was dreaming about, why he was so sad the past 10 years. '' I just feel so alone" his croaked. I knew the feeling. I was feeling it too. I have felt alone since I was 12, wishing I could be held, to have a guy say to me "I love you", but at seventeen to not have a boyfriend or even a first kiss, I was desperate. I'm desperate to be seen, to be known. To the point where I look for love everywhere and anywhere. ''Do you want to come and sleep with me tonight"? I asked in a hesitant voice. Please say yes, I will him with my mind. I just don't want to sleep alone. He nodded, I took his hand and when we reached the bed, we both emotionally exhausted, we nearly fell asleep on impact. What I didn't expect though was when he asked to be held. I nodded. He's my closest friend, of course I'd say yes. His arms around my waist, his head against my chest. I've never being held like this, I feel full of love. My arm around his back and my other arm cradling his head, stroking his hair. This is something I'll remember forever.


	2. Ross

Chapter 2: Ross

I woke up in Ruby's arms. I don't know why I did that. She's a really good hugger but she reminds of Daniel so much. They have the same compassion, the same mind. They even look similar but Daniel is the one I'll always love, the one I'll always care for. I remember meeting him at the park, he was on the swing. He was looking so sad, so neglected. He had on a shirt that had all holes in it and it was dirty and his shorts were way too big and he had to keep holding them up. When I said "Hello" he looked so shocked to find someone speaking to him. For an eight year old, he looked like he was five. I was even taller than him at the age of seven. When I saw Ruby for the first time, I thought she looked 10 but when she told me was seven, I was shocked. She was a really tall girl and really big, I was only up to her waist. It's the reverse now, I've gotten so tall now. Ruby at seventeen is still a bit big, but she's curvier now like Kim Kardashian. Now when I look into her eyes I see the heat and desperation in her eyes, her eyes have been like that she was 12 but now it's amplified. She seriously needs a boyfriend, I've asked around but no guy seems interested. I admit she can be a bit of a hornbag at times and also a little bit rough and a little bit too masculine but she's a really beautiful girl with a lot of love in her heart. I wish she could see it. I've even asked Matthew why he doesn't go out with her, but he didn't say anything. Like always. Ruby was the first person I told that I was gay because I knew she had a crush on me and I didn't want to hurt her feelings but also because I can tell her anything and she wouldn't tell anyone. I think she always knew about me and Daniel. Ruby was now awake "Want to go out into the lounge room"? She said in a tired voice. We went out into the lounge room, with the crumpled cigarette packet in front of us. That's the one all of us have in common, we all love to smoke. Ruby's the heaviest smoker out of all of us, I like doing it but not too much. As I inhaled the smoke, I could see the relief in Ruby's eyes, the vapour of smoke coming out of her nose. Today was going to be a good day.


	3. Matthew

Chapter 3: Matthew

I look at myself naked in the mirror, sweat pouring down my body. Even though I don't work out, I have a fit and toned body. Like a swimmer's. I look at myself, my amber orange eyes, my hair the colour of tar and borderline pale skin. I haven't been with a girl since I was seventeen, I'm now 20. I regretted being with that girl because only one girl has been on my mind. She's been on my mind since I was 14. I dream about her, feel her, taste her. I visualise her putting her arms around me, visualise her lips on my skin. I put my arms around me so i keep the memory stuck on me like glue. I can feel her fingers tracing the faint outlines of the muscles on my stomach. I can feel her breath, her kiss. I can feel her caressing my thighs, my skin burns on her touch. I wish I can actually have her and not just visualise her but I don't do well in a relationship. I'm the type that it's better to be hated than to be loved by me. I have flames in my body, flames that are overwhelming, that consume me. Flames that fill my eyes. The girl said that to me, she said to me in that sweet voice she has "You're eyes are like flickering flames, I wish I had them". If I met the right girl, she could douse the flames inside me but if I met the wrong girl, she would cause them to explode, covering us both. With this girl I think it's the latter for I have seen the flames in her body. That's why whenever she touches me, my body sets alight and when that happens, it's not a good thing. I remember when I saw her at the park for the first time, when I was 10 and she was seven. I thought she was the most beautiful girl ever with her then natural black hair, now it's faded to a light coppery brown. When I was 14, I saw her and I thought "I've been waiting for you my whole life". It's getting too much, I can feel vapour of the flame surging through my pores. I jump into the shower, the water washing away the evidence of what just happened. It was just a mirage, I miss her already. I can't keep doing this, it's too much. I need to tell her and soon.


	4. Daniel

Chapter 4: Daniel

I'm thinking about him again. This is the hundredth time this week but there isn't anything to do apart from think about him. I hate being in this little room, it's so cramped. I can literally feel the walls pushing into me, squashing me, crushing my insides. The lady comes in with my medication. I don't even know why I am forced to take this, it doesn't work. I still hear them in my head. Before I used to have conversations with them but when I think of Ross, I can't hear them. I always think of our first kiss. I remember we were 15 and it thought I was gay for a long time but the kiss was the catalyst. It was the last time I saw him before I got taken away. All of us at 15 we were on a camping trip and there was a massive fire that Matthew made and it was just us as Matthew was in his tent asleep and Ruby was out for a walk. Ross was so nervous that night and I didn't know why. The night was so beautiful, the flames of the fire licking the air. My head was resting on a log and Ross was resting on his elbows, looking up at the silver-flecked night. "Daniel, do you think you're gay"? He said nervously." I think I am, but I'm not sure" I said butterflies were already filling my stomach. "Why" I ask hesitantly.

"It's just for a while now, I've been thinking about you like not in a friend way and I've been staring at you and I've think that you're really pretty and"

"Ross, stop"

"I'm sorry, Daniel I knew I shouldn't have said anything I'm so sorry"

"No Ross, I've been thinking about you too"

"Really, because the urges I have are unbearable and I love it when you hold me and sometimes I just want to kiss you sometimes an"

"Wait you want to kiss me"?

"Yeah", he bit his lip; he looks so sexy when he does that

I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything; I saw the look in his eyes. The regret and disappointment showed so immensely in his eyes "Fine" and he went to sleep.

I thought for a while and I loved him so much so I knew what to. Ruby should have been back by now, I hope she's ok.

"Ross"

"Yeah"

"Kiss Me"

His eyes opened and filled with surprise

"Really"?

"Just fuckin do it"

I didn't have time to think; Ross came at me with inhuman speed, straddled me and crushed his mouth to mine. This was my first kiss and one with the boy I love. It was pure pleasure. He was such a good kisser, his lips fit perfectly, and I felt warmth from my head to my toes. His hands were caressing my upper body, my hands rubbing his back. His tongue traced my lips and it sent shivers all down my body. I couldn't think, I didn't want to. My mind was all focused on his kiss. When we pulled apart us both panting and out of breath. His hands on my shoulders, his legs still straddled around mine. We just looked at each other … and the he burst into tears.

I get pulled into the time of now, my mind still blurry from that passionate memory. I can still feel his mouth on mine. It hurts so much, if only I can see him, but I cant. We all know what happened last time.


	5. Matthew- Cigarettes

Chapter 6: Matthew

My job at my parents houses it to change the cigarettes a bit. Mum and Douglas like their smokes strong so Douglas goes and buys a bit of weed and gives it to me. My job is to take all the insides out and put a few bits of weed in it and then fill it back up with the cigarette shit again. So it looks like you're smoking but your cigarette is half smoke, half weed. I get half the cigarettes because I make them and Mum and Douglas get the rest. You don't get high, but you get more of a hit than you do with normal cigarettes. Ruby smokes these like they're fuckin fairy floss, I thought I was a heavy smoker but Ruby beats us all. Today's Friday, its movie day. Every Friday one of us picks a theme for a movie and goes down and picks 5 movies for us to watch and we stay up all night, just watching movies and smoking. Tonight was Ruby's pick and she picked the theme: Gay so we're watching 5 movies about 2 guys in a relationship. I've kissed heaps of guys. When I was younger about 15, I didn't know what sexual orientation I was yet, so I experimented. I knew I was straight when I was about 17. I just liked being the masculine one in the relationship, I liked the way a woman felt under my skin, how she touched my skin, I liked looking at a woman's body. Yes, I'm not a virgin. I lost it when I was 18, I regret it so much. I met her at a party. I only knew her name and that was it, we just went upstairs to a room and did it. I was so awkward and nervous and afterwards I felt so dirty and wrong. Shouldn't you lose it to someone you love, not just someone you met at a party. You think girls are so worried about who they lose their virginity too, guys worry just as bad. I know that I ever have sex with the girl I love, it would be amazing.


	6. Ruby-Phone Call

Chapter 7: Ruby- Phone Call

Matthew came over with his homemade cigarettes, man his shit is good. See the thing is, I'm a naturally angry girl and this stuff calms me down. I smoke this stuff like it was air to me. I don't know like every day I'm always wound up, tight inside but when I smoke his stuff it just loosens me, calms me. It's like every day there's this bonfire inside me, flickering away. If I get revved up, it fuels the fire inside of me but when I smoke, it dwindles to candlelight. It never gets extinguished altogether. When I look at Matthew his eyes always look like flames like his entire body is set alight and his eyes are mirrors to the heat inside. We're watching movie night; it was my turn to pick the theme. I picked gay theme because I find myself drawn to same-sex relationships, not because I'm lesbian or gay but because I like how the relationships always last a long time and when there's problems they fix it. See, in a standard girl-boy relationship, when they have problems, they just break up and find another man or woman but in a same-sex relationship they take the time to sort out their problems. I'm secretly hoping when Daniel comes out of the hospital, he and Ross will become a couple. They are perfect for each other and they are already in love. I know because I've seen them. That night at the campfire I did go for a walk but when I came Matthew was gone and it was just them alone. I wanted to see what was going to happen so I hid behind a tree. I heard Ross pleading with Daniel to kiss him and when Daniel said yes, I saw Daniel with such speed crush Daniel body's with his own. When they kissed, they kissed hard it was like they were struggling for air and the only air was between their lips. I never saw Ross so….. Animalistic, he always acted so proper and a gentleman but here he was just rough and sexy. I felt like I was intruding, I never saw anything as passionate as then, that was the closer I ever saw to sex, apart from movies and books. Watching them I wanted that, wanted to have a man rip his clothes of me and give me that passion, that pleasure. They were in love since they were 10 I know because I slept over their house when I was their age and when I was forced to sleep on a blow-out mattress, Daniel and Ross were in bed snuggling and stroking each other's hair. I thought I should've just left, I know too many times what it's like to be the third wheel. The phone rang:

"Hello"

"Ruby"?

"Yeah, who is it"?

"It's Daniel"

"OHMYGOD, HOW ARE YOU!"?

"I'm good, listen I just got discharged do you think you can come pick me up?"

"Um yeah sure ill be right there"

"Don't tell Ross, I want to surprise him"

"Of course, see you soon"

I can't believe it, I can't believe it. I get my car keys and head off to without telling Ross and Matthew where I'm going.


End file.
